From G’s to Gents: Play or Be Played


(Episode 3) People do not like Kesan. Even after he apologized at the end of the last episode, the other gentleman-in-training are after him. It certainly does not help that Cee is playing Machiavelli and is painting Kesan in a bad light. So the day ends with ever more antagonism in the house.

Now we get to move on to my favorite contestant to forget, J-Boogie. Everybody wonders if he’s even a G at all, but I think these words from the man himself should put any questions to rest, “Don’t let the tight pants fool you, I’ll snap at you if you come at me the wrong way.” After this morning dose of Haterade, we find the Gs in the chapter room. No one is quite sure what is going on, but E6 puts it best, “I see my name and some preppy shit.” They are informed that today’s challenge centers around sportsmanship. Shotta does bring up a good point, “What kind of game do you play with polo shirts and a sweater vest on?” For those of you who don’t know, it’s the finest remnant of colonialism, cricket. I think it’s good that the Gs and America get to see what cricket is about, but what bothers me is that the expert they hired was an English bloke. As counterintuitive as it may sound, the English aren’t really good at cricket; this is definitely a case where an Indian instructor should have been put to use.

On to sportmanship, Mr. Bentley describes the concept in the following manner, “A true gentleman doesn’t just play to win, he plays with honor.” I found the scenes where the Gs learn to play cricket quite funny; we’re even treated to an America’s Funniest Home Video-inspired moment when Shotta get’s hit in the family jewels. Unsurprisingly, J-Boogie is excellent at cricket because he grew up playing golf. Really J-Boogie? Is he even a G or is he a wanna-G? All signs point to the latter. Kesan, who’s my favorite to win the competition, gets the gold star because he realizes that “Sports makes people forget their differences.”

It would be too easy if all the Gs had to do was learn about sportsmanship, lucky for us they have to apply their lessons on the basketball court. This shouldn’t be too hard for the likes of J-Boogs, as basketball is apparently what he does when he’s not working in the laboratory. Before they get to flex their muscle on the court, Fonzworth Bentley informs them that they’ll be judged not only on the points they score, but also on how well they follow the rules of sportsmanship during the game. They get one point per basket, but they lose a point if they display unsportsmanlike behavior. Let the hilarity begin. Oh and before I forget, I would like to introduce you to Paul, the etiquette referee.


The basketball games, which features Kesan and D-Boy’s respective teams against a team of street ballers, are horrendous. The Gs aren’t very athletic and they, for the most part, forget all the gentlemanly behavior they’ve learned. However, Kesan, being the shining beacon of hope that he is, realizes that his team has to act better and it’s because of his intervention that his team wins -7 to -8. Oh yes Kesan’s team wins on the etiquette tip. One would think that with this victory, Kesan’s situation is on the up-and-up. He has no such luck, Cee brings up the fact that Kesan spit on D-Boy’s bed and all Hell breaks loose. The Gs split into two camps, there’s more G-checking and posturing. With the heat turned up, Kesan decides it’d better if he leaves the mansion instead of risking violence. Cee is clearly the antagonizer and he seems to really enjoy his role as such. Shaun, on the other hand, wants to make sure he has a chance to talk to Kesan out of leaving. All I can say is that they have a moment, but more significantly Creepa steps into the picture with his hater-blockers off. Woo, this shit is serious. I have to admit though, that Creepa has some good advice, he’s really looking out for Kesan’s best interest.


But lo and behold, after all the drama that he helped start, Cee has a moment of regret. This G apparently has morals and starts to feel bad, this is getting…hold on give a minute…so real, so real. Don’t worry folks, Kesan is talked into not leaving the house by a shockingly un-dapper Fonzworth. Mr. Bentley gives some sage advice during his talk that we all can use, “A real champion knows how to fail and knows how to get back up.” Wait, isn’t that a line from George Foreman’s Guide to Life? One of the best moments of the episode comes when we see Cee talking to his ex, Gina. Before I move on, I have to take a minute to scold MTV. Come one MTV, couldn’t you have found a less stereotypical Italian G than one with a ex-girlfriend named Gina? He might as well have been eating chicken scallopini when he was bearing his soul. All right, back to the review. We’re treated to a side of Cee that almost seems human; he really wants to change but doesn’t seem to possess the means to accomplish this goal. I feel for you Cee, I really do. Elimination isn’t too surprising and once again Mr. Bentley makes the right choice. This gentleman knows what he’s doing.

You can catch the full episode on MTV’s Overdrive, and hear more from Mr. Bentley on his Swagger Assessment.


Shaun makes the astute observation that the closest thing to cricket they have in the hood is rocks and two-by-fours. Now if he could only see what the hood is like in India, he’d be eating his own words.

Cee describes lab work as “Squirtin’ rats in the ass with somethin’.” My question is who told him about my research?
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About Dapper Alchemist

The Dapper Alchemist is an amalgam of my interests in science, design and (men's) fashion.

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